Sunday, 15 January 2012

Iran, Full Board & Free Flights

Regarding :- Iran Could Face UK Military Action Over Nuclear Programme

Iran Holiday Resort - £0pp (Not Including Taxes and MOD Costs) 

  • Several Years' Accomodation.
  • All Inclusive.
  • Full Board.
  • Free Flights.
  • Complimentary rifle and combat gear (Sub-standard, Second-Hand)
Journey to the magical, mysterious resort of the Islamic Republic of Iran, where you too can experience first hand the results of shoddy military intelligence and a political leadership that fails to learn from its own mistakes! Not content with developing the magical, mysterious resort of Iraq, the M.O.D. Travel Company has now decided to extend our fun-filled excursions to classical Persia. You too can immerse yourself in the fabled history of this wonderful resort by simply believing everything we say and signing your life away on the dotted line provided. Your country will thank you, and even if they don't (probable) then you can rest assured. The reason your limbs will no longer be as geographically close to you as they once were will be because you're going to be implementing yet another largely illegal invasion for the purposes of grabbing us some OIL BABY, YEAH!! 

But this trip isn't all business! No indeed! The M.O.D. Travel Company has a number of activities that you too will be able to participate in, free of charge. You loved it and we noticed, so we're bringing back our famous Live Round Paintball, where even beginners can take pot shots at similarly fooled young men and women in Iranian uniforms, who also believe they're fighting for a cause! Silly Iranians, gotta get 'em all! Looking for a little more excitement? Well the M.O.D. has you covered. Back by popular demand are our Super Treasure Hunts, where you and your buddies stomp around in the sand to find Fun IEDs™. Lucky winners get to ride in a helicopter and see our sub-standard and underfunded field hospitals, following which they'll be largely forgotten by all but their decimated families. Unlucky winners will get a free flight home, assuming we can find most of you, and have their names etched on a cheap piece of stone forever. Great value or what?!
Our accommodation range is just as good as it ever was - in fact, it's exactly the same as our Iraq Excursion! Cramped and temporary tents await you and your friends (friends are not guaranteed to return with you) at the end of a long days fun (see paragraph two). If that wasn't enough for you, you can opt for our Sleep Under Stars option where you can spend nights in a ditch dodging Iranian participants of Live Round Paintball! With M.O.D. Travel, the fun never stops!!

We know you'll take memories of this holiday home with you (participants are not guaranteed to get home), so confident are we of the fun you'll experience. The M.O.D. has many well documented (but publically unavailable) reports of our customers reliving their experiences almost every night, leaving them so filled with fun that they remain unable to find work, function as a family member and who knows what else?! With a holiday like this, the fun lasts forever. 

So join us in Iran, we think it'll be a blast and it'll be a bullet to the head of your boredom! Just sign on the dotted line provided.........

Your friends, the M.O.D...

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I mean no offence to any member of the Armed Forces, I simply wish to draw attention to the larger futility, horror and death that you experience daily as a result of the greed shown by Government and Corporate interests. I have always maintained that as soldiers you consciously signed up knowing you were preparing for potential wars - this is your choice - but following that your choice was removed utterly. I don't villify or praise anybody who serves. I reserve criticism and villification for those who send you to war, and the reasons for which they do so.

Just a small Human in a big Universe,

Ger Morris

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